Archive for the ‘breaking up’ Category

8:00 AM – Go to work
9:15 AM – Office meeting
1:30 PM  – Sales presentation
6:00 PM – Break up with my significant other

Let’s face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. While we may not schedule a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn’t an easy thing to do.

Relationships typically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it’s over, and do so at the same time. It’s almost as if it happens by magic. It’s also the most rare. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it’s far too late.

So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?

The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don’t assume that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you’re breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That’s because you will be operating from a position of honesty, and that’s key.

Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. It’s really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exception s for long-distance relationships where you won’t be able to get together for a while. It’s better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.

Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn’t mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don’t get defensive, and don’t make the other person defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. You can still be nice, but don’t let them make you do something you don’t really want to do.

Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking doesn’t have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be happy that you did.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.

Technorati Tags: breakup, relationship breakup

How to get over someone fast is not an easy problem to deal with. It is especially difficult if you were not the one who wanted the relationship to end. but even if you were the one who wanted to break up, getting over your ex is no easy thing to do. And the longer you were together, the harder it will be. While there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution, here are a few things that will help you move on more quickly.

Keep in mind that these methods are meant to speed the process along and may seem unpleasant, or even cruel. Please understand that is not the intent of what follows. The idea is to help you get on with your life and be happy again.

In part, what you’re gong through is a grieving process. You will have to face many emotions, and some will be more sever than others. The first one is denial. You may refuse to believe that you have really broken up, or you may kid yourself that it’s only temporary, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Accept that it has happened.

One of the best ways to make this easier is by getting rid of any reminders of your ex. That doesn’t mean you have to throw them away or sell them. It just means you should get them out of site until you are in a better place emotionally. To be fair, you may feel like everything reminds you of your ex. You can’t live in a home with nothing in it, so what should you do?

If this happens, the trick is to start by getting rid of the things that have the strongest emotional attachment; the items that remind you of your ex the most. The stronger the memory, the more important it is to get rid of. Remove them from your sight. If you have to, store them at a relative’s house. While you don’t have to, depending on the item, you may choose to throw some things away.

As mentioned earlier, you don’t have to get rid of anything for good, but if you are able to sell any items that remind you of your ex, you can use that to your benefit.

First, be sure that you are able to sell the item legally. If it’s something you purchased together, then be careful; you may not have the right to sell it and could end up in trouble. Assuming it is okay, go ahead and sell whatever items you can. Then, here’s the cool part, by something special for yourself with the money. To make it even more effective, buy something your ex wouldn’t let you have when you were together.

There is one other main method for how to get over someone fast. And that is to start dating other people again. You are not doing this to make your ex jealous. Also, don’t feel guilty about dating; you are trying to get on with your life, to be happy again. Following the tips above will help you to do just that, and to do it quickly.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.

Technorati Tags: get over a breakup, relationship breakup

No one wants the rug pulled out from under them and be blindsided by an unexpected breakup. Breaking up is hard enough when you see it coming, if you haven’t seen it coming it can be devastating. The fact of the matter is that more often than not there are signs of trouble. We miss the signs because they were well hidden or we just didn’t want to see them.  If you want to make sure that that doesn’t happen to you (again) here are some guaranteed warning signs of a breakup.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system

When looking over this list you do have to keep in mind what is going on in your life.  Even though these things can be signs that your partner isn’t really committed to the relationship and is ready to leave, they can also be signs of financial stress, or stress at work, depression, or some health issues.  While it’s important to keep your eyes open for changes in our partners behavior, you also have to be careful that if you see some of these signs that you don’t jump to conclusions and start making accusations… that can create far more problems for you and could cause the very breakup you want to avoid:

Here is a list of some of the most common signs that there may be some problems in your relationship:

1. If your partner suddenly loses interest in being intimate with you, it could be a sign of trouble. As stated above, you should look at the situation as a whole and take other possible factors into consideration. But, if after looking for other alternatives and not being able to find any, you may have to seriously consider the possibility that there is something going on. Very often when a partner loses interest in sex it’s because they are seeing someone else and getting their physical needs met elsewhere.

2. If your partner doesn’t seem that interested in spending time with you it could be a problem.  If you can’t find any rational reason why they’re suddenly so busy you have to consider the possibility that they are just avoiding you.  It could be because they know that the two of you need to talk and they are putting it off or it could be that they are spending time with someone else.  Either way, it’s something that you should talk with them about.

3. Is your partner suddenly more secretive and protective of their phone or their computer?  If they suddenly carry their cell phone with them into the bathroom or take their laptop in the next room it’s very likely an indication that they are talking with someone and they don’t want you to know about it.

The fact of the matter is that any change in the way your partner acts towards you is a potential cause for concern.  Always keep an open mind and try to find other explanations for their behavior but if you don’t know why they are acting differently you should ask them.  Hopefully if there is something going on they will be big enough to tell you to your face.  Now that you know the guaranteed warning signs of a breakup you won’t be blindsided by an unexpected breakup again.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system

Technorati Tags: signs of a breakup

Ever since people starting coupling up, they have been splitting apart. The earliest writings we know of (both secular and religious) talk about how to handle couples breaking up. And even though it has been going on for millennia, dealing with ending a relationship has not gotten any easier. Hearts get broken, people get hurt, and it can be painful and confusing at the same time. Here are some things for you to consider, to help you navigate a relationship that’s ending.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.

The first thing you need to convince yourself of is that the past is the past. It is a common tactic to try to purposely erase the memory of your ex completely from your mind. But, trying to forget it means you are focusing on it. In other words, you are turning the past into the present. By doing that, you can be sure that you are dredging up old, painful memories and that you will feel miserable in the process

As mentioned it’s not easy, in fact, it can be emotionally wrenching and one of the toughest things to face as you go through life. It may seem impossible now, but you must let things run their course. Give it some time. They say “time heals all wounds”, and though it’s difficult and you feel awful, the saying is true. Keep this in mind as you’re dealing with ending a relationship.

Another thing you must do is establish firm ground rules, especially if you know there will be situations where you are likely to encounter one another; work is one such example. Your best bet is to keep things as platonic as possible at first. Sure, there were good times, but you don’t want to start talking about them immediately after the break up. You also want to avoid talking about the bad times, or whatever led to the breakup.

When dealing with ending a relationship, you may want to do your best to avoid your ex, but don’t do this to the point of obsession. If you are trying too hard to avoid them, you are, in reality, giving them more power, and not dealing with your real feelings.

By the same token, you need to understand that the relationship is over, at least for now. Don’t make the mistake of being overly friendly to show you are “back to normal”. It will only make you look foolish or phony. You may also want to get back together, but you just have to give this some time. If you try jumping back in too quickly, you run a high risk of alienating your ex even further.

Perhaps you will never get back together, maybe you have no intentions of doing so, but it’s always a good idea to get along with other people. Following the tips above will leave the door open to the possibility of reconciling, or, at the very least, not having your blood boil every time you hear of or see your ex.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.

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Technorati Tags: Ending a relationship, relationship breakup

If you know the warning signs of a break up you will be better able to avoid splitting from your lover. All relationships are different but there are usually similar symptoms of trouble to look out for:

1) Your partner is ignoring you.

Now I don’t mean that they are not talking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they are feeling or even where they were? If you are like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a little work.

Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they are your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.

So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?

2) Your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.

If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this.  Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.

3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom

While sex is only a three letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time.   Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings.  So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.

You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isn’t. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!

Technorati Tags: breakup, Breakup Warning Signs, relationship breakup

If you see warning signs of a break up you need to act quickly to avoid splitting up. It is a lot easier to prevent a split then to try to reconcile after the event.

So what should you be looking out for? The obvious one is if you are both always arguing. I believe it is healthy for couples to argue occasionally as making up is fun!  But when you just fight and don’t make friends, you are on dangerous ground.

Perhaps worse is when you have gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore one another. There is nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with someone and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.

Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with other people. Now don’t get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It is when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.

If you see any signs of trouble, you cannot ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a very nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.

If you have children arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.

Don’t jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You will only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Instead, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation?  Is there anything they feel could be improved?

Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgemental. It is not going to be easy and you may have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.

You may not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it could be all it takes to start the process of getting your relationship back on track. There is a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. In the meantime, you need to reassure each other that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that is worth fighting for.

Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.

Technorati Tags: dealing with a breakup, get your ex back, relationship breakup, save marriage

Unless you have been lucky, you have probably been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?

Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret.  Perhaps you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It is worth apologizing and asking for another chance if you feel this person is your significant other.

It may be that you both said things that you regret. Often couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health not to mention families. See if your relationship is worth saving . You can go to counseling for unbiased help and advice. It is worth a shot, as getting back together with your loved one, is a very good remedy for a broken heart.

Sometimes though a relationship ends and it is final. Yes you will feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period, after a difficult breakup, exactly like you would if that person had died.  Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost but then acknowledge it is time to move on.

You need to look after yourself. Why not take that holiday you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your daily routine. Your life will be different now so instead of approaching it with fear, grab this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be around that next corner.

I do not believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they are teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who may have made mistakes in their respective pasts but have now found happiness again.

We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Sometimes our significant other changes as well and as a couple, we adapt and stick together.  Often though, we find we want different things and while you may be heartbroken at first, you may ultimately be happier with someone else; or even on your own.

If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to someone. There are plenty of counselors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping others as well. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children’s school or visit elderly neighbors, we often forget about our own problems.

It is very easy to wallow in feeling of sadness but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.

Technorati Tags: breakup, makeup after breakup, relationship breakup

When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.

If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this.  You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete.  Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial.  They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.

If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single.  If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.

Couples, as we know,  break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.

Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.

Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly.  Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.

You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them.  People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.

Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?

Technorati Tags: breakup, Keep your relationship, relationship breakup, relationships

Unless you have been lucky, you have probably been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?

Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Perhaps you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It is worth apologising and asking for another chance if you feel this person is your significant other.

It may be that you both said things that you regret. Often couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health and not to mention job related stress. Consequently resulting in unfair treatment to one another, which then leads to the possible breakup.

Evaluate if this is one of the primary problems and then determine if your relationship is worth saving. If it is you can go to counselling for unbiased help and advice. It is worth a shot as getting back together with your loved one is a very good remedy for a broken heart.

Sometimes though a relationship ends and it is final.  Yes, you will feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period after a difficult breakup exactly like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost; but then acknowledge it is time to move on.

You need to look after yourself. Why not take that holiday you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your daily routine. Your life will be different now so instead of approaching it with fear, grab this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be around that next corner.

I do not believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they are teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who may have made mistakes in their respective pasts, but have now found happiness again.

We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Sometimes our significant other changes as well and as a couple we adapt and stick together. Often though, we find we want different things and while you may be heartbroken at first, you may ultimately be happier with someone else or even on your own.

If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to someone.  There are plenty of counsellors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping others as well.  When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children’s school or visit elderly neighbours, we often forget about our own problems.

It is very easy to wallow in feelings of sadness, but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable.  You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.

Technorati Tags: breakup, relationship breakup

So how do you improve recovery from a break up? The trick is to get back together. Most couples split for silly reasons.  With some good communication they could overcome their problems and be happy.

You first need to decide if you want to get back with this person. Forget about what they want for a moment and concentrate on what you would like. Once you are certain, you will be much more convincing as you persuade the other person to give you another chance.

If you decide that you do not want to get back with your ex partner you should have no problem getting over the break up.  But I don’t think you are willing to let that relationship go, do you?

You need to set up a meeting with your ex to discuss your future. Apologise for anything that went wrong, whether it was your fault or not; and agree to put it in the past. Yes you need to resolve your issues but you don’t  need to dwell on them.

Focus on the positives.  What have you got going for you? Why should the two of you be together? Talk about the great times you have had, the history you share, the sexual attraction that burns between you and hopefully you will be celebrating getting back together very soon.

It may take a couple of meetings and a while to get back on track but it will be worth it. If you had a great relationship it is worth fighting for. Finding someone special to love who loves you in return isn’t easy and shouldn’t be given up lightly. Add to that a shared history, family and children and you will soon realise, if you haven’t already done so, that you belong together.

If there was a reason for your breakup, perhaps one of you had an affair; it doesn’t need to spell the end. Affairs always happen for a reason. Perhaps you were not paying your partner any or enough attention. Perhaps they felt taken for granted.  Or it could be something as simple as too many drinks at the Christmas/office party. None of these make adultery right.

I know that it is not easy to accept your partner sleeping with someone else; but you can get over it. If you still love this person and want them in your life, go to couples counselling and see can the therapist help you both to work through your feelings. You may find that you cannot live with the deceit and betrayal and decide to split up after all. But you could also decide that by bringing all the problems into the open, you can resolve them and go forward with a much stronger relationship. You just need to approach the situation with an open mind.

Having someone you love in your life is far too important to let it go over something trivial or in some cases something very hurtful. So forget about trying to improve the ”breakup recovery” and concentrate on getting your partnership back on track.

Try the Secrets To Making Up for more help.

Technorati Tags: makeup after breakup, relationship breakup