The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new.  Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.

Even though we may wish we could at times, we can’t just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we’d been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we’ll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don’t call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.

Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic.  For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it’s all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done.  Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.

If you’ve been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.

No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget.  The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.

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If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it’s time for a gut check. Don’t think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it’s going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.

Here’s a few things to keep in mind:

1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren’t ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they’ll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.

If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let’s be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won’t commit 100% to making things work, it won’t work. Again, it’s best to leave.

2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It’s going to hurt, but the reality is that people don’t cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don’t get from their spouse.

Sometimes it can be something ‘real’ like feeling needed or loved. Other times it’s not ‘real’ it’s childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.

3. It’s very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner’s face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won’t work out.

On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

Also, the person who strayed has to own it, period. Now is not the time to blame your spouse and use the classic line: “my wife/husband just doesn’t understand me”.  B.S. You are every bit as guilty, maybe more so, in the failing of your marriage as your spouse. Don’t blame your weakness and the fact that you cheated on your partner. You did it, period. Own it and you’ll be a better person for it.

Marriage infidelity can be gotten past, but only if the two of you are willing to try, and try hard. Good luck.

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If the two of you recently broke up the thing that you feel most like doing is the one thing you absolutely should never do: call him (text him, IM him, etc. ) This is especially important if he broke up with you. If you start acting like some sort of crazy stalker lady, at worst you’re going to end up with a restraining order against you and at best he’ll only think of you as his ‘sure thing, back up plan’.  Neither of those are terrific options. Give him space.

That doesn’t mean that you have to go out and find another guy or hide under your bed.  While you are giving your ex time, take some time for you. I’m sure that there are things that you wanted to do or liked to do that got put on the back burner while the two of you were together. Now is the time to remember those things and start doing them again.

Most men prefer a woman who is self-sufficient and confident.  Those are probably traits you had at first, it’s time to re introduce yourself to those traits and start having fun and doing all the things you meant to do or used to do. Your ex will hear about it through the grapevine and he will be intrigued.  You might just find that he is calling you, by resorting to the woman you used to be you are reminding him of the woman he fell in love with.  Plus, by keeping yourself busy you aren’t allowing yourself time to wallow and obsess.

The same principle can hold true if you and your guy are still together, but just not feeling the love.  Don’t make a big issue out of it, just start doing some of the things that you were planning on doing but somehow got sidetracked when you and your guy got together.  Whatever it was, whether it was going back to school, learning to cook, taking a trip, etc.  This will remind both of you of the woman you used to be. That can help him remember the love he had for you and it can remind you of the person you used to be and make positive changes to be that woman again.

The question: how can I get my boyfriend to love me again, can seem so sad and hopeless. But it doesn’t have to be.  There are many things that you can do, many of which are much easier than you may have thought possible, that can help you and your boyfriend rekindle the love the two of you had before.

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One thing to keep in mind is that even though you are the one asking the question your husband probably feels the distance between the two of you as well and hopefully will be just as willing as you are to make some changes. If he’s not willing you are in for a virtually impossible battle.

I am in a great marriage now, but the first time around… not so much. My ex husband was very demanding and not very giving. He was what I call an ‘emotional cripple’. He was too insecure to be my friend and consider us to be equals (actually we weren’t equals, I was much better than he was in virtually all facets of my personality, I just didn’t realize it at the time so it was like open season. I know that sounds vain, but it’s true).  He would demean me in front of his family and our kids. Thankfully, he finally left with some bimbo he met at a bowling alley.

So, if your husband is an emotional cripple too, I would recommend you try counseling, though it won’t work if he isn’t willing to try, but it’s a place to start.

Another thing you need to be careful of is the tendency to over-compensate when things start to fall apart. It’s a common thing for women to be the healers and that can include a relationship that needs healing.  Women will often try too hard and just come off as needy and pathetic. This can create a vicious cycle where your husband pulls away, you cling to him and he pulls away even more. You get the idea. Don’t try to over compensate when problems show up. Just try to calmly talk to him to figure out what’s going on.

The other tact that many women take when things start to cool down in their marriage is that they try to protect themselves from the ‘inevitable’ hurt that they think is coming and they pull away too. This can really create problems.  The best thing for both of you to do is talk, honestly and openly. Discuss what is going on, what each of you is feeling and why you are pulling back.

It may be hard to see with all the silly macho posturing a lot of men do, but they really aren’t that different from us, they just want to be loved and appreciated. If your husband has started to pull back it could be that he just doesn’t feel the warm fuzzies coming from you that he used to.  Maybe it’s just that you’ve been overwhelmed at work or with the kids, but if the two of you can’t discuss this issue it can escalate.

The answer to the question: can my husband love me again is yes, he can.  Actually, he probably still does but you are both mired in your own issues and just can’t see it. It’s time for the two of you to talk, maybe with a therapist.  Once you do, you’ll probably find that you’re not that far apart after all.

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The good news is that you can overcome that issue. One thing you should do is talk to your girl. Ask her if there is a problem.  Many times people will ask their partner what the problem is but if their partner tells them something they don’t want to hear they get mad.  If that has happened with you and your girl before, don’t be surprised if she just isn’t in the mood for a fight so she’ll just say there is nothing wrong.  If that’s the case, you are going to have to take time to rebuild her trust in you. You will need to show her that you can listen without getting mad.

If she simply doesn’t know what the problem is, and if she’s just getting bored she may not even realize it herself, than what you need to do is go back in time. OK, not literally. But more than likely if you take the time to think about it, you’ve changed.  Many times we change over a period of time and the changes can be so subtle that we may not even realize we’re doing it.  Try to pinpoint the less than positive changes you’ve made.

A lot of times it can be something as simple as just not having the dreams we once used to have.  Depending on what your dreams were that may be ok.  If you always dreamed of being a rock star, it might be best to get over that and find another passion. If your dream was to go to college that is much more attainable and maybe you shouldn’t give up on that dream. Those dreams could very well be a part of what attracted your girl to you in the first place.

Another thing that you need to look at is how has your attitude toward your girl changed since the two of you have been together?  For example, did you use to compliment your girl on the way she looked, or you made her a special meal once a week, etc.? Do you still do these things?  This type of behavior, unfortunately, seems to be one of the first things to go in a long term relationship (and then people wonder why the romance has died).

To learn how to make her fall in love with me again might be a lot easier than you think. In a lot of cases all you have to do is spend some time figuring out the ways you’ve changed and then try to be more like the man you used to be, the man she fell in love with. This is often all you will need to do.

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Of course, your idea of what exactly the ‘next level’ is and his may be two different things. Your idea of the next level may be marriage, to him it may just mean living together, or vice versa.  Make sure that when you talk about the next level that you clearly define what exactly that means to you.

Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help ‘push’ things along:

1. Talk to him. Tell him what you want. Be careful how you approach this because you don’t want to sound whiny or needy (if this is something you really want and you really feel strongly about it’s easy to sound a little desperate if you’re not careful).  Again, don’t just tell him you want to take things to the next level, be clear on what that means to you.

2.  It’s important that you don’t push the issue. It’s great to bring it up after all, you can’t expect him to read your mind can you?  You just have to make sure that you’re going to be able to accept whatever he wants without getting upset.  If the two of you have been together for a while and this topic has never come up it’s almost a sure bet that he isn’t interested in taking things to the next level, if he were he would have already brought it up (of course, it’s possible that he’s just shy or afraid to bring it up because he didn’t know what you’d say and he got scared).

3. If he isn’t interested in making any changes then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what he means.  Does he mean that he can  see the two of you moving forward some time in the future, but he’s just not ready right now? Or does he mean he doesn’t see your relationship going much further than it is right now? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it’s important that you find out where he’s at when it comes to your relationship.

4. If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the relationship will go, you’re just not on the same page when it comes to a time line, than that’s actually ok.  At least you both see the relationship heading in the same direction. If your guy doesn’t see any future in the relationship you’re going to have to face a really tough decision: stay or go.  Many women will stay and think that they can change his mind, and maybe you can, but you shouldn’t. Even if you can talk him (or threaten him) into moving the relationship along, is that really the best foundation for a future? You had to force someone to be with you?  No so much, it’ll be hard but you are better off just moving on.

Many people find themselves in a great relationship and they want to take things to the next level, whatever that may mean to them.  If you want to  stop dating and move up to the next level you can follow this advice to win over man you love dating and move things along a bit faster.

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For the most part, if you ended things and now you are having second thoughts it’s usually best to let her know that you made a mistake. There’s really no reason to wait. You broke up with her, she may still love you, time to find out. Of course, be aware that you may have to do a lot of groveling and begging, but in most cases she’ll be happy to take you back (assuming you weren’t a huge jackass when you ended things).

If she broke up with you just because things weren’t going well, than your best approach is to give her a little space and after a period of time contact her as a friend.  Try to spend time with her and have fun, remind her of the great guy she fell in love with. Don’t push to get back together, take it slow. Try to forget that the two of you ever had a relationship and just act as you would when you first meet someone new.  She may find that she has missed you and this reminder of how fun you are may just be the little push she needs.

If she broke up with you because you cheated, you owe it to her to make darn sure that it won’t happen again. Be warned, infidelity is very, very hard to get past (just take a look at all the celebrity divorces recently). Once you’ve trusted someone and they’ve betrayed you it can be almost impossible to allow yourself to trust again. This is the hardest of all the scenarios to get over, though if handled properly you may have a chance.

If infidelity or some other form of abuse was the reason behind the breakup, you may increase your shot at a reconciliation if you attend some counseling.  Nothing will go further to show her that you are truly sorry and that you’ve truly changed than to go to counseling. And don’t just make it a game either, if you’ve screwed up you should make changes, you can be a better man.  Don’t just pretend that you care and that you want to change… really care and really want to change.

So step one is to figure out why she left in the first place and then determine the best way to win back woman you love dating.  No matter what you do, make sure you keep your ego out of the mix. Be straight forward and honest and if you’re not sure you can commit to her and the relationship 100%, just let her go.

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Over time people change. We all do.  The problem is that when it comes to a relationship two people may not change in the same way. For example, if you and your girl loved to party every night of the week, but lately she just doesn’t seem that interested, yet you still want to go, this is a classic sign of two people who are maturing at different rates. In a case like this there may not be anything you can do.  It might be best to just end the relationship and find someone who shares your interests.

Sometimes though the changes may be unsettling but they don’t have to be deal breakers.  If you and your girl can talk and find some common ground you can not only re- ignite the passion in your relationship you can also find great new ways to spend time together.

Sometimes it’s best to start at the beginning, as much as possible.  More than likely you’ve changed since you and your girl have been together, and maybe not in good ways. Take stock of the way you act and the way you treat her. Can you honestly say that it’s the same as it was when the two of you first met?  Do you still do all the little things (hold the door, tell her you love her, compliment the way she looks, etc.) that you used to do? If not, why not?  She would still like to hear that.

Have you gotten lazy? Do you still workout the way you did when the two of you first met? Do you like to go out and do the things the two of you used to do, or do you just want to lounge on the couch and watch t.v.? She might simply be getting bored with you if you’ve become a slug.

When the two of you first met did you have a lot of dreams and ambitions? Do you still? If not, you may have lost some of the passion you had for life and that may have been one of the things she found so attractive about you when you first met.  It might be good for you and your relationship to find some of that passion and ambition again. You don’t want to get in a rut, it’s not good for you or your relationship.

If you’re wondering: how can I get my girlfriend to love me again, you can start by evaluating your relationship. Honestly answering these questions can be a great way to start.  Once you know the problem you’ll have a much better time of coming up with solutions.

Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.

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There is no guarantee it will work, sometimes by the time you ask the question it’s already too late, but you’ve got nothing to lose by giving it a try.

Marriage can be a weird relationship. The longer the two of you are together the more comfortable you can feel with each other but at the same time there is more of a chance that the two of you will grow in different directions.  This is a very common problem and since it happens slowly, over a period of years, it can be very easy to miss the signs until it’s too late.

That is the first thing you should do, try to identify how you’ve changed since you and your wife have been together. Have the changes you’ve had been positive or negative? For most of us, we can say that a lot of the changes are negative. We used to have big plans, dreams and ambitions,  but now we come home from work and veg out in front of the TV until it’s time for bed. Boring. If you used to be full of hope and promise and now you seem like you’ve given up, you may simply not be the same man your wife originally fell in love with.

The sad thing is that not only may your wife not feel the same way about you now, you may not feel the same way about yourself. If you’ve just given up on your dreams you are probably unhappy with yourself deep inside. Try to rekindle some of those passions, it will make you happier and remind your wife of the man she fell in love with all those years ago.  It’s a win/ win.

Have you let yourself go?  If you used to be fit and strong but now you’re more pudgy than toned, maybe you should hit the gym. It will be good for you and it might help rev up her enthusiasm a little bit too.

Do you treat your wife the way you used to? Probably not. We can all fall into the trap of taking our partner for granted, the longer you are together the easier it is to do. She may well do the same thing to you.  Try to get back to some of the patterns of behavior you used to have in the early days of the relationship.  If you used to get her flowers every now and then ‘just because’ it may be time to start that tradition again.

Don’t make things harder than they have to be.  The answer to the question how to get my wife to love me again, might be as simple as going back in time and acting more like the man you used to be rather than the man you’ve become. It might just be good for both of you.

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Trying to get the love back in your marriage might be hard, or impossible, due largely to what happened to kill that love in the first place. How long has the love been dying?  For example, if you have been married for some time and you haven’t treated your wife very well throughout your marriage, she may not love you anymore, and that may just be that. Love can die.

Think of a garden, if you don’t water it and nurture it the only plants you’re going to grow are weeds. Your marriage is similar. If you’ve spent the past several years of your marriage completely oblivious to your wife and her needs and you haven’t  shown her that you care about her and love her, than the love she felt for you might already be past the point of saving.

If the troubles are a little more recent, and not all your doing, you will usually have a better chance of saving your marriage and rekindling the love the two of you once had.  With the economy so difficult right now a lot of families are really feeling the strain of money issues. If that’s what’s happened to you  and your wife you need to slow down and consider what’s really important. I know, you’ve got people calling, you’ve got food to buy and there is never enough money. But in the long run, this will just be a blip on the screen. Your marriage should be the one thing that you can count on for the rest of your life. Try (even though I know it’s hard) to always remember that.

One of the simplest things you can do to win back your wife’s affections is to remind her, with actions and not words, of the man she fell in love with in the beginning. It’s easy to let life get in the way, we can lose our sense of humor and romance and then everything else starts to fall apart.  Try to recapture a little of the magic the two of you used to share. It can be something as simple as a walk together in the local park, just some time together to unplug from all the other crap that may be going on in your world.

There are many reasons why a marriage can fall apart, most of them are silly and can be fairly simple to overcome once you realize what they are.  For you men who are asking: can my wife love me again,  yes,  just make sure you give her a good reason.

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