Archive for June, 2010
The Smart Way To End A Relationship
8:00 AM – Go to work
9:15 AM – Office meeting
1:30 PM – Sales presentation
6:00 PM – Break up with my significant other
Let’s face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. While we may not schedule a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn’t an easy thing to do.
Relationships typically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it’s over, and do so at the same time. It’s almost as if it happens by magic. It’s also the most rare. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it’s far too late.
So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?
The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don’t assume that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you’re breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That’s because you will be operating from a position of honesty, and that’s key.
Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. It’s really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exception s for long-distance relationships where you won’t be able to get together for a while. It’s better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.
Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn’t mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don’t get defensive, and don’t make the other person defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. You can still be nice, but don’t let them make you do something you don’t really want to do.
Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking doesn’t have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be happy that you did.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
5 Interesting Ways To Say Sorry To Your Boyfriend
At some point in your relationship, you are going to do something wrong. You are going to make your boyfriend upset, mad, or sad, and need to work to rectify the situation. Some people will simply say sorry, hoping that their sincerity comes through. Others realize that they need to do more to make sure that their loved one knows that they are sorry.
These five interesting ways to say sorry to your boyfriend will help you to apologize in new and unique ways. Apologizing in different ways will help to show your boyfriend that you are sincere with your apology. It will also show him that you are willing to do whatever you can to make sure that you make up for your wrong doings.
1. Make Him a Card - A simple hand-made card can make a simple apology special and important. This type of apology is perfect for girlfriends that need to say sorry for small, almost insignificant issues. This apology helps to bring a cute and thoughtful feel to the apology without making the apology or issue too serious.
2. Buy Him Gifts – One of the best ways to apologize is to bring your boyfriend something he enjoys. Men used to do this by purchasing their girlfriends flowers when they said sorry; girlfriends can do the same. Buy your boyfriend some of his favorite small items, foods, and beverages. This small gesture wills how that you are serious about your apology.
3. Make Him Food – If your boyfriend is still a little mad at you for a small issue or problem, make him food. The fact that you are taking time out of your schedule to make him food will show him that you want to make sure he is happy.
4.Take Him Out - Want to say that you are sorry in a relatively new way? Take your boyfriend out to dinner. This is the perfect gesture for relationships that feature a boyfriend that always pays. He will enjoy the experience, and will be willing to accept your apology.
5. Give A Full Body Massage – This is the perfect apology for those who have done something relatively big, and are working to get back in the good graces of their boyfriend. If he will allow it, light his favorite candles. Use a very special massage oil that will relax yet excite him. Don’t forget to caress and massage his toes and fingers. Then let the moment go where it will go.
You need to gauge the thoughts and feelings of your boyfriend, along with the severity of your actions, to understand the correct way to say sorry. While some of these interesting ways to say sorry to your boyfriend may work, others will completely miss the mark, hurting the situation further. Take the time to understand the right way to say I’m sorry, as it will help both you and your boyfriend to move on from the issue.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
Restoring Trust in Relationships After an Affair
This is not intended to be a discussion on the Bible, or anything religious, but I’d like raise a specific point. According to the Bible, there are only two acceptable reasons for divorce, and one of those is a cheating spouse. The point is that infidelity is a serious offense. Conventional wisdom states that people should split up if one of them has been unfaithful. It doesn’t have to be that way if both parties are willing to do what it takes. Restoring trust in relationships isn’t easy, but it can be done. Here are some ideas on how to make that happen.
The main thing to keep in mind as you go through the process of restoring trust is that it requires changes in the actions and attitudes of both people in the relationship. Even after something as serious an affair, a relationship can be saved. The key is start with small amount of trust, and continuing to build on it.
Before you can start rebuilding trust, you need to take an honest look at what went wrong. Our natural tendency is to blame the other person, and they are likely at fault to some extent, but the only person you have total control over is yourself; therefore, you need to get to the root of what you may have done to end the relationship. Once you find the source of the problem, you can take steps to fix it.
For example, if your partner had an affair, what was it that they were seeking from someone else? What was it that you weren’t providing? You will need to improve these things if you want to have a future together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never right to cheat, but we are trying to restore a relationship and work on trust. While you can’t undo the past, you can certainly create a better future.
The next step is to start actually gaining some trust again. One of the best things you can do is assume the other person is being honest. By doing this, you will get trust in return. Of course, that is easy to say, but much harder in practice. So, the trick here is to take small steps. Tell your significant other that you will be home by 7:00 PM, then be home by 7:00 PM (or a little early if at all possible). It doesn’t have to be anything big, just start demonstrating your ability to stick to your word.
Over time, these small steps start to accumulate and build on one another. But, you must keep doing it, and always follow through on what you say you’re going to do. Excuses will not cut it at this point. In fact, if there is any possibility, any doubt in your mind at all, then it’s better to not say anything at all.
Restoring trust in relationships is not an easy task. And the more severe the reason for the lack of trust, the harder it will be to regain it. Keep your focus on trust, and keep taking those small steps, and before you know it, you will be happy again.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
How To Get Over Someone Fast The Easy Way
How to get over someone fast is not an easy problem to deal with. It is especially difficult if you were not the one who wanted the relationship to end. but even if you were the one who wanted to break up, getting over your ex is no easy thing to do. And the longer you were together, the harder it will be. While there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution, here are a few things that will help you move on more quickly.
Keep in mind that these methods are meant to speed the process along and may seem unpleasant, or even cruel. Please understand that is not the intent of what follows. The idea is to help you get on with your life and be happy again.
In part, what you’re gong through is a grieving process. You will have to face many emotions, and some will be more sever than others. The first one is denial. You may refuse to believe that you have really broken up, or you may kid yourself that it’s only temporary, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Accept that it has happened.
One of the best ways to make this easier is by getting rid of any reminders of your ex. That doesn’t mean you have to throw them away or sell them. It just means you should get them out of site until you are in a better place emotionally. To be fair, you may feel like everything reminds you of your ex. You can’t live in a home with nothing in it, so what should you do?
If this happens, the trick is to start by getting rid of the things that have the strongest emotional attachment; the items that remind you of your ex the most. The stronger the memory, the more important it is to get rid of. Remove them from your sight. If you have to, store them at a relative’s house. While you don’t have to, depending on the item, you may choose to throw some things away.
As mentioned earlier, you don’t have to get rid of anything for good, but if you are able to sell any items that remind you of your ex, you can use that to your benefit.
First, be sure that you are able to sell the item legally. If it’s something you purchased together, then be careful; you may not have the right to sell it and could end up in trouble. Assuming it is okay, go ahead and sell whatever items you can. Then, here’s the cool part, by something special for yourself with the money. To make it even more effective, buy something your ex wouldn’t let you have when you were together.
There is one other main method for how to get over someone fast. And that is to start dating other people again. You are not doing this to make your ex jealous. Also, don’t feel guilty about dating; you are trying to get on with your life, to be happy again. Following the tips above will help you to do just that, and to do it quickly.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
How You And Your Ex Get Back Together
You were so happy together, but then something happened and now you’re apart. If you really want to get back together with your ex, then you’re going to have to some soul searching. It isn’t easy to be completely honest with yourself, but that’s what you have to do.
You need to decide if getting back together will really make you happy, and you also have to decide if you’ll be able to do things right if you do. After all, you don’t want to break up again. It’s natural for us to only recall the good times after breaking up, but you have to look at the bad times to, you need to be objective and realistic.
Apart from the myth that Hollywood likes to put up on the silver screen, most relationships that split apart are not worth saving. That may be hard to hear, but we’re dealing with reality. If your ex and you spent most of your time arguing and being unhappy, as opposed to being happy together, then you will probably be better off finding somebody that’s a better match for you.
Apart from arguing, abusive relationships are usually better left in the past. If you or your ex were physically, mentally or verbally abusive then it’s probably time to move on (there are always exceptions, of course). But if your relationship was pretty good overall and worth fixing, then the following will help was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you get back together with your ex.
Nobody likes a pest, so don’t be pushy; you may just push them away for good. If you’re always trying to communicate with your ex; whether by email, telephone or tracking down there whereabouts so you can talk in person, you are overdoing it. Not only will it look desperate, but it will be irritating, and you want to create positive connections, not negative ones.
Don’t beg or make empty promises. It’s easy to think about how doing so will win your ex back. You picture yourself making the perfect plea, pouring your heart out, but…you will never be able to accurately predict how your ex will react, good or bad. You can’t change the past. You can apologize, ask for forgiveness and be sincere, but this alone won’t get you back together. You also need to prove that you are serious. Having a plan for how things will be different will go much farther than sobbing about the past.
Live in the present. Nobody is saying you should forget about the past. In fact, it would be smart to learn from it. But, you don’t want to go so far as to live in the past; that’s a fantasy world. Instead, focus on current realities and work on rebuilding your relationship from there.
If you are serious and ready to get back together with your ex, then give them some space, don’t beg or make empty promises, and stay rooted in the present. These things will surely improve your standing as far as your ex is concerned, and you will keep your self-respect as you move towards a happier life together.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
Three Helpful Relationship Quotes
The subject of love and being together provide a near endless supply of relationship quotes. Some are funny, such as “Love Stinks” by the rock group the J. Geils Band; some are pithy like the old adage “love is blind”. It sometimes seems as though everybody has a thought or two to share about relationships.
Some people may roll their eyes at such sayings, but it’s a smart person who will take such sayings and try to apply them in a positive way to their own lives. What follows are three quotes that have a little more substance to them; each is followed by a few thoughts about what they mean.
Ursula LeGuin is the renowned author of the Earthsea series. She shares the following quote about love: “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made – like bread, remade all the time, made new.” What a wonderful way to look at it! Love isn’t something that you fall into and then remain complacent about. No, it takes work, but, just like baking bread, it’s pleasant work. And the results are aromatic and satisfying. On the other hand, if this idea doesn’t appeal to you, then it’s a good sign you are not with the right person for you.
Even the ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle weighed in with a relationship quote of his own when he assuredly noted, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” There’s a lot of truth there. Being willing to make sacrifices, or put the other person first all hallmarks of love. That sounds great, but in reality, most people would consider themselves lucky if they found such a deep and lasting love as that; where they truly feel like one. And, yet, that’s the true nature of love, even if it doesn’t seem like it, even if it never reaches that level…the possibility is always there.
“Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others”, is a thought expressed by self-help guru Stephen R. Covey, author of many books on effectiveness, including several on inter-personal relationships. The loss of a loved one, breaking up, and other traumatic events create the worst pains we as human beings go through. It’s a fact of life. While relationships can be the source for such intense pain, they are also the source of our most positive feelings. Ultimately, the potential of so much pain is more than worth the wonderful feelings only relationships can provide.
Of course, those are only three of the nearly endless relationship quotes that have been written over the centuries. You can find many more by doing a simple online search for them. The trick though, is to not just read them, but to give them some thought. Once you do that, the next step is to apply them in a positive way to whatever relationship you are currently involved in.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system
Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me – How To Know For Sure
It sure is great being in a relationship. You two are happy together and getting along fine. Then something happens. All of sudden you’re not all that happy, and, eventually you break up. To be blunt, breaking up sucks. While you may want to get back together, you may be wondering “does my ex want to get back with me?” Knowing the answer to that question makes it much easier to decide what you will do next. So, how can you tell?
The simple answer is to watch their behavior. If they show some interest when they are around you, if they talk to you in a friendly manner, or are even a bit flirtatious, then these are all positive signs. However, it’s not enough to know for sure. Maybe they have already moved on, but want to show you and others that there are no hard feelings over the break up. The trick is to not assume they want to be with you again, but rather to step back from them a bit and see how they react. It’s sort of like playing hard to get, but to a lesser degree.
See, when you accept any positive signs as proof of them wanting to get back together, you run the risk of pushing too hard. Play it cool instead. As you back away, literally or figuratively, take note of how they react. Do they stop their positive behavior altogether, do they keep coming after you, or do they turn on the charm even more? The better you are at reading their reactions, the better your chances of making things work out. Even they are not giving you the right signals, that can help you determine your next steps.
After a break up it’s common for both parties to miss each other. Even if it was a bad break up, just not being with the other person can leave each of you feeling an empty spot in your lives. How much time you spent together and how happy you were will have a strong influence on how strong these feelings of loneliness are. Naturally, the more lonely each of you are, the more appealing the idea of getting back together will be. In other words, if you want to patch things up, there’s a good chance that your ex will want to do so also.
While this all sounds pretty straight forward, there is a catch. There are some case where an ex will display all of the positive signs mentioned above, and will pursue you as you try to move back. But they are just playing game. Maybe they need the attention, maybe they want to tease you as a passive -aggressive way of getting even with you. Whatever the reason, don’t be let down if you misread their advances. Just be aware that it is a very real possibility.
The final step to answering the question, “does my ex want to get back with me?” is by accepting their advances. If you have read the previous signals clearly, then this step isn’t nearly as risky as it may sound. Besides, it’s the only way to know for sure. And if it leads to getting back together and being happy, then it’s definitely worth it.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
What To Do If You Want Your Ex Back
It is within the collective human nature to want to find a lifelong mate. Once you think you have found them, you are filled with a sense of calm and happiness; it’s in your DNA. However, the sad reality is that even the best of relationships can go wrong and end in a break up.
The good news is that not all ended relationships have to stay that way, some can be fixed. If you have gone through a break up and would like to get your ex back, then you will find the following tips to be useful.
Before you do anything else, you need to collect your thoughts and clear your mind if you really want your ex back. That’s not saying that this will be easy to do, it won’t be. But it’s necessary to be able to look at things in an objective manner.
This can be difficult to do when all you can think about is your ex and how much you messed up, or how much you want them back. Do your best to get rid of those thoughts; to get rid of all the static. Doing this will make everything else that follows that much easier.
Another mistake a lot of people make when trying to patch things up is to make empty promises. Or, worse, not being themselves. They will do anything to get their ex back, including being phony or changing their principles and character to appease their ex.
Look, it’s simple…your ex will need to love you for who you are. If they don’t then you need to face the facts and move on. Don’t be a piece of putty in their hands. Instead, be confident in who you are and they will come to appreciate your sense of dignity.
Changing things up is another good way to get your ex back. This is not the same as selling out. You were part of the reason that you two broke up. If neither of you do anything to change or grow, then getting back together will be a mistake.
You both need to work on improving things. However, you can only control what you do, so do your best to make whatever improvements you can. Your ex will notice, and may follow suit, leading to a better relationship than you had before.
Learn from the past, but don’t dwell in it. Sometimes when people try to get back together, they like to pretend that nothing bad happened. They do this intentionally with the idea of starting with a perfectly clean slate.
While they mean well, this almost always leads to more problems than it solves. The better way to go about it is to be realistic. Admit bad things happened, apologizing if necessary, then do what you can to not repeat those mistakes.
Make a plan. Yes, you may want to just jump right into to patching things up. However, your chances of getting your ex back will be much higher if you have a plan for how you will go about. This will keep you on track and make the process of getting back together run smoothly and go faster.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
Help – What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. Falling out of love is a miserable feeling. After a break up, it’s perfectly natural to ask a question like, “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?” It is also natural to ponder on all of things that went wrong and what you could have done better. This thinking then leads to thoughts of begging, apologizing or otherwise begging your case until your former loved one is ready to take you back.
However, even though these things may play a part in getting back together, and definitely seem logical, they frequently lead nowhere. None of the methods mentioned earlier get to the root cause of the break up. That’s why they aren’t enough to patch things up. The not-so-good news is that uncovering the real reasons behind a break up can be difficult. So, do your best to dig deep and find out what really went wrong, but also realize that the true causes may remain hidden. If that’s the case, don’t worry, there are still steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back, though it may be a bit more complicated.
Forget about it! About what? About her, about your relationship, about the idea of getting back together. At least for now. You both need the space and time to come to terms with what has happened. Do not expend any energy on making up, at least not yet. Hang out with your friends (if they’re single, so much the better), pursue a new hobby, or throw yourself into a project at work. Whatever it takes to stop you from focusing on your relationship. Unfortunately, you can’t predict how long this step will take. The best advice, then, is to not force it, and you will know when the time is right to move on to the next step.
Now that you have a cushion of time and space you have something you desperately need: Perspective. You will now have to do your best to be objective, and ask yourself if you really want to get back with your ex. See, that’s why you need time. If you try to answer this question too soon after breaking up, then you won’t get an accurate answer. Assuming you decide that you would like to get your ex back, you can go to the following step.
The final part of answering the question “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” is to contact her and start making things right. The secret here is to not be too forceful, to not overdo. If you waited long enough, she has had enough time to sort things out as well. When you finally meet again, talk things over calmly. Admit any wrongdoing, but remain positive and solution oriented. A negative mood will lead to arguments, and decrease your chances of getting back together. While you can’t change the past, you can learn from it and do what needs to be done to have a happy future together.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
Relationship Advice for Men – It’s Evolutionary
So much different relationship advice for men is out there that it can be difficult to figure out what really works. So, what do men need to know if they are interested in a more relationship? The most important bit of advice is to look at what women really want, based on their actions, as opposed to assuming what they say is 100% accurate.
The question then becomes one of being able to identify what their actions are. And the best way to do that is to observe the type of men they end up, regardless of what they say they want. While women may say they want a sensitive man with a good sense of humor, and one that listens; they go out with men who aren’t sensitive, make plenty of money, dominate conversations, and may or may not be all that funny.
The reason why women do this may surprise you. It’s not because they don’t know what they really want, it’s because they don’t know that they know what they really want. Okay, that may sound confusing, but it isn’t. What we are talking about is the subconscious mind, and that’s where the best relationship advice for men comes from.
It all comes down to one thing: The propagation of the species. This has been the underlying factor since the dawn of humanity, and its power is found in both men and women. While having children with a particular man may be the furthest thing from her mind (as far as she knows), deep down in the subconscious, she is evaluating mates for their ability to be a good father for her potential family.
We then get back to the things women say they want. Does having a good sense of humor mean he will be a strong protector and bread winner for the family? Not really. And it’s the sense of security and ability to provide food for the family that the subconscious is most concerned with.
Let’s take a quick look at biology to see why this is so important. Men have the ability to reproduce for, in theory, from the onset of puberty until they die; that’s a big window of opportunity. On the other hand, women have a much smaller window in which they can viably reproduce. Therefore, women can’t afford to gamble, and need a partner that will be able to provide for the long-term.
In today’s world, these deep-seated desires manifest themselves in various ways. In past centuries women may have dreamt of marrying royalty, as they were the ultimate providers. Today, princes and kings have been replaced by athletes, celebrities and rock stars. Another bit of evidence is the engagement ring. It not only shows that the man has the ability to provide, but also that he is will to share the fruits of his labor (and you thought it was simply romantic).
So, when it comes to relationship advice for men, don’t worry about all the static and conflicting viewpoints. All you really need to do is dig down to the subconscious level to see what women really want, no matter what they think they want.
Click HERE to get the Magic of Making up system.
